Thursday, December 31, 2009

new year's eve '09

not only is it the beginning of a new year and a new decade. it's also a full moon, a blue moon and a lunar eclipse. frickin awesome. coincedentally ty and i never go out and this year i can honestly say it only happens once in a blue moon.

i am sitting here with sopping wet hair, bout to get ready and wait on hubby. ty is as always the designated driver and tho i norm don't drink i am having visions of trash can punch. love my besties can't wait to see ya'll. with that said i want to annouce that I am dubbing 2010 the year of love and change. love for ourselves, our family, and our freinds. and the strength for all of us to change whatever we want. I am regressing back to the days when we were told that we could do anything, be anything. I am challenging myself and anyone else that can read this to be WHOEVER we want to be. to say the thought provoking things, be the people marching outside the box, tell everyone we care about how much we love them and to love ourselves enough to care for ourselves and make the changes we need to make the most for ourselves not for anyone else. I believe 2010 will be epic and i know this to be true because i am going to make it that way. So starting tonight let's usher in this decade the right way!! Be inextricably happy, a little bit (or a whole lot) over the top, let's open our eyes and live our fucking lives because they can be taken away in an instant, call ur parents more, get up earlier, hangout with ur besties even when ur busy. embrace who we are and what we can each uniquely contribute to ourselves our family our freinds and by exsistention the world and universe. make a point to kiss/hug ur partner (man, women, dog; whomever ur partner in life is) everyday. have lots of (protected, responsible, consentual) sex (save that for the same species). scream, cry laugh, sing, freak out if u need to!! hell if u want to. but no matter what u do be geniunely yourself, take off the mask, step out from behind the security blanket and shout ur exsistence from the rooftops!! no more watered down version of myself b/c i am worried someone might not like it. life isn't fair. we all know it so why are we sugar coating. happy 2010 people. lets make this year and this new decade OURS. fight hard, love harder, believe hardest.


Friday, December 25, 2009

sick on christmas...

.. but it's all good. so Ty and I have been sick for about 4 days or so now. So we were both thinking that christmas was gonna be awful. Today we woke up around noon (the first christmas I remember ever getting to sleep in) and we looked outside to see everything covered in snow (the first white christmas since 1926 in our area). We still felt terrible so we called the one place we were suposed to gather at today and told the fam we couldn't make it. Then we commenced to putting together the furkids main present which was a replacement cat tower. They had had one when we moved in here but it had eventually been torn apart by human kids trying to climb in it after the cats and when i had taken it down Scrat jumped on the top of it, dug in his claws and tried to defend his tower so we figured we would replace it. After it was put together scrat immediately jumped atop it and took his rightful place back as kitty king of the cat tower. Then we gave them cat nip and gave them all their toys including a mouse shaped laser pointer that was bought for scrat that he won't have anything to do with but tabby LOVES it. then me and hubby opened our gifts. We already knew what we got because being sick we stumbled thru the store together on the 23rd barely holding one another up. Despite that we opened our gifts and fained suprise which actually made it a whole lot more fun than normal. by the time we got to the second gift we were both laughing so hard we were practically in the floor. then we went to redbox and i got to get chick flix (another xmas gift from ty) and because my hubby is so wonderful i have been allowed to opt of cooking today too so we will be eating pizza tooday. It's only 4 oclock and it is one of the best christmas's i remember in years. I am about to go curl up on the couch with my vicks and dayquil and watch julie and julia and pray for the return my health. I hope everyone is having an awesome christmas.

Monday, December 21, 2009

so i've been MIA because...

I have writers' block. I have been writing poems and stories and the like since I was 4 and for 20 years it has always felt the same. Normally my head is a mine field, synapses firing everywhere, constant thought. Every. Single. Second. I am being serious I can't clear my head for anything! To go to sleep i have to make a thought pattern and tell myself a mental story to be able to fall asleep. it sounds crazy I know, and unmanageable, but, after 24 years of it it's like the hum of a computer, forever in the background so it goes unnoticed. Unless, ofcourse, it stops all together. Usually when i try to write it just flows out through the pen. Releasing that idea out into the universe. Well, when I have writer's block it's my internal hard drive just goes to sleep. I sit down with a pen and paper or computer and suddenly that familiar hum that is my chaotic thought process just stops. Now if I could do this trick on command I'd be ecstatic about it but since it only happens when I WANT to write it's maddening.
Then, yesterday, I signed into yahoo and when my homepage popped up I saw a picture of britany murphy looking chic as always so I smiled and went on to read the headline assuming that she had been nominated for an award or helped some under privileged children so I read to myself in my head "britany murphy ... died today at 32." so i got upset i been watching her in movies since clueless and it really bothered me so i opened the article and began to read expecting to see she had secretly been doing drugs or some other reckless activity that had lead to her death (hollywood, ya know, what would anyone think?) but no it said 'natural causes' which scared the crap out of me. I mean who the heck thinks that a 32 year old to die of natural causes. but this event has disolved my writer's block so hopefully i will have some new posts soon.